Ndad had his flying monkeys and enabling wife who thought it was “ok” for dad to routinely strip his 17 year old daughter and beat her with the metal end of a belt while ranting that this is how one raises successful kids. My childhood consisted of fear fear fear, always having my mum radar out there, see in what mood she was in, I totally and completely took over the responsibility for how she feels. How does the narcissistic child treat their siblings? The scapegoat is just meant to sit down and shut-up. Though I will never be emotionally perfect, I am in a great place. Then would you believe that on the evening of my sons wedding, my sis discovers that our sister had got married the day before!! I thought about how my mother probably made the wrong choice with whom she picks as the scapegoat and whom as the golden child. But what I really wanted to say here is that while the abuse is so textbook, the problem is in recognizing it’s abuse. You know? I do suffer from fear and emotional abandonment, have issues around being ignored, not being heard, I tend to ruminate and over think and I question everything. He was the Enabler alright: a sincere pacifist who beat me every day at my mother’s command for things I didn’t do (they called it spanking, but you don’t spank with your fists). So, they do the great big turnaround.
u/aint_that_a_bitch_ 3 years ago. Believing in one’s self is the only way to combat N abuse. It is a very common theme of narcissistic abuse for people to blame themselves for what has happened to them. LOVE this article!! The only remedy is complete no contact.
Constantly asking for money. I am thankful that God gave me a man who (had plenty of hangups in his family’s coat closet, but) is not from a narcissistic family.
No cracks can show. I am not sure.
The narcissist will do anything for fuel, and drama.
I had integrity, but my childhood had just about destroyed me. My sister and I have had good times and bad and I really thought after losing both our parents that she had grown up some, especially after she acknowledged the abuse in very recent years. Wow , such a an utterly thorough and well explained post Luckyotter. The golden girl did try to get me to come back to the family by insulting me and calling me crazy but I didn’t go back. Yeah right. We’re talking about people who can only think of their own distress. This increased in frequency and severity until it went on every single day for over a year when I was eight and nine. It is very hard to keep one’s self-esteem in tact after having experienced the absolute horror of family scapegoating. In some cases, a non-Cluster B mental illness (such as Bipolar disorder) that causes abusive acting-out behavior may be the culprit, but it’s less common because most other mental disorders are less easily hidden from others and the person appears “crazier.” Non-Cluster B disorders are also more easily treated with drugs or therapy, and except for psychotic disorders such as Schizophrenia, the afflicted person knows they have a problem and are more likely to seek help. So there’s a silver lining.
Very often two people will be separated into ‘black’ and ‘white’. He is his own worst enemy.
I have never read an article that so closely describes how my relationship is with my older sister and my father. It may be because they are seen as all ‘black’ in the mind of the narcissistic parent. She occasionally texts me but I never reply. But the dynamic is different from what is described. I hope that I do find the strength to move on from this. After all he was the first of two sons and the oldest.
If a golden child goes up against the narcissist they will lose their role. They do not depend on criticism, body shaming, guilt-tripping, and other dark manipulative techniques to create broken, insecure, self-effacing, and anxious children. They will never argue with or criticize the narcissistic parent, and are always trying to get everyone to get along, which also is not possible.
Would happily leave and go n.c but we have a little one who I have made it my life mission to try to reduce the affect a NPD patent can havevon a child. Tiffany was clearly the family scapegoat and had evidently gone No Contact with the rest of the family.
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